FAQ
Our Magnificent American Apparel Tshirts
Most tshirts you buy online are rubbish-cheap-shit-crap from China.
We know this because we carefully considered how much dirty money we could make if we went there too.
In fact, we even bought some Chinese tshirts , printed them up & washed them several times, only to discover that they were in fact rubbish – & probably full of toxic chemicals as well. (You get that in China – put ‘em on after a couple of washes & they’re so lumpy it looks like you’ve had your organs harvested!)
So luckily for you dear reader – we went with American Apparel!
The reason we did that is because they are the softest, best fitting and best looking shirts we could find. We also found that beer, makeup and Monica Lewinsky-type bodily fluids are easily hand washed out of them. They’re also sweatshop free, which is cool on the karma front.
Please be aware that if you wash them in hot water and spin dry them they may shrink, so please follow the care instructions on the label. Goatboy recommends you cold wash them inside out & don’t spin dry them. Just be sensible.
So if you need to know more about our Magnificent American Apparel tshirts please go to their website at americanapparel.net
For guys we use the AA 2001 Fine Jersey Short Sleeve tshirt. It is made from 100% cotton, and combed for softness and comfort. It has a durable double-stitched bottom hem, sleeve and neck binding. It is a more ‘fitted’ style, which is very cool, unless you’re really, really fat. If you wish to custom order larger sizes, please contact us, but be prepared to wait a bit & pay a bit more. We don’t want to deny anyone from experiencing the freedom of Goatboy.
Girls’ shirts are AA 4321 Baby Rib Cap Sleeve tshirt. This shirt is 100% Baby Rib cotton, combed for softness and comfort. It has a 1.25cm neck binding (sewn over fabric), is form fitting with cap sleeves, and has a durable double-stitched bottom hem, sleeve and neck binding.
Care instructions are on the label, so remember to read the label before you wash the shirt.
Our Cool Old-School Screen Prints
Most tshirts you buy online are rubbish digital prints, or worse, plastic transfers – which are not only extremely uncomfortable & sweaty to wear, but they crack up faster than Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan combined.
When it comes to printing tshirts, Old School is Cool School – so we use the Traditional Silk Screen Printing Process.
Traditional silk screen printing shits all over digital prints and crackly transfers – especially when you’re talking detail, longevity, washability & all-round funkadelic feelings.
We could get all technical with you, but basically digital printing & transfers suck. (If you don’t agree with us then buy some, wash them, and see for yourself. If you still don’t believe us you’re either an idiot, or you own a tshirt company that prints digital and/or uses transfers.)
All our shirts are screen printed in advance and stored in inventory. Each shirt is inspected for quality of print, which is why we don’t digitally print on demand and ship straight from the factory, as some other tshirt companies, who shall remain nameless, do. If we’re out of stock, the option does not appear in the drop down menu. If you’re prepared to wait a couple of weeks, we might do another batch – so e-mail us at stuff@goatboy.com.au
Buying Our Shirts
Buying our shirts is really easy, and safe.
All you have to do is:
1. Select the shirt you want, then choose either boys or girls.
2. Click through and choose the colour and size options through our easy drop-down menus.
3. Proceed to the checkout. Easy.
Before you order remember to look at the size chart.
Privacy and Security
At Goatboy we love to have a laugh about almost anything – but we are deadly serious about things like privacy and security. Our web servers are hosted in Sydney, Australia, at a professional, secure, server farm. We don’t see or store your credit card details – it’s all done through the secure server. It’s actually more secure than giving your credit card to a waiter in a restaurant.
Our payment gateway securely accepts credit card payments in real-time. We accept MasterCard, Visa and BankCard. PayPal is coming soon. If you have any questions you can email us at help@goatboy.com.au
As soon as your payment is accepted we will send your shirt.
If you don’t have a credit card but still want to buy our shirts, email us at help@goatboy.com.au and we will see what we can organise.
Any personal information you give us is protected. Your information will not be disclosed to anyone, ever, and especially not spamming bastards who run mailing lists. We hate those fuckers.
Talk to Us
We would love to hear from you, especially if you have something positive to say. We don’t really offer counseling services, but, if your order is big enough, we might make an exception. You can also contact us if you think you have a tshirt design we might like. You can especially contact us if you are an enormous retail outlet that wants to purchase tens of thousands of our shirts.
Also contact us if you’re a smaller, but very cool shop that caters to the sophisticated & discerning tastes of intelligent people who don’t want to be a temporary tattoo for some fat, exploitative corporation by wearing tshirts with tick-type logos on them.
If you have something negative to say, do so at your own risk. If you’re stupid enough, or demonstrate that you’ve had an irony-bypass, you might even end up being ridiculed on our blog. If you’re actually upset about something as stupid as a tshirt design – then you really do have an excess of self-righteous indignation, which could be far better channeled towards something that actually matters.
Like the war in Iraq, or the endemic abuse of children by Catholic priests, or even online tshirt companies that use digital and/or transfer prints.
Above all, please try to remember that IRONY WILL SET YOU FREE ;) is our tagline, which only narrowly beat “fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.”
You can email us at stuff@goatboy.com.au
Also, feel free to contribute to our blog, and look out for us on Facebook.
Shipping Time and Costs
We understand that the last thing you want to do after you buy our shirts is to wait for them to arrive. So, as soon as we have received your payment we will send them. Shipping costs will depend on which you choose and where you live. How long it takes to arrive will also depend on where you live. Total shipping costs will be displayed as part of the checkout process.
Returning Shirts
We almost did not include a section on this, because we can’t imagine a situation where you would want to return our shirts. Even if you have ordered the wrong size you can just keep it in your drawer and get it out from time to time and admire it. Think of the environmental benefits in not having to wash it. Or, better still, if it doesn’t fit, give it to someone who it will fit, and order another for yourself.
But in all seriousness, before you send it back, if you are unhappy in any way, drop us an email at nothappy@goatboy.com.au and we will work something out. If we can’t resolve the problem, or you are not completely happy with it (arrives damaged; doesn’t fit; can’t work out how to put it on), you can return it. If you return it we are going to have to hit you up for shipping costs, the price of which will depend on where you are in the world.
Please take note that: “I changed my mind” or “My Mum/Dad/Boyfriend/Girlfriend says I can’t wear it” or “I’d actually rather pay a corpulent corporation my hard earned cash to wear their sweatshop produced logo on my body” do not count as refundable excuses.
For any refund to occur the tshirt must be returned unworn & unwashed & in a saleable condition within 14 days of delivery. Take care to pack it properly – please don’t just shove it in an envelope or you’ll end up upset when we tell you it arrived too damaged for a refund.
Terms & Conditions
Here at Goatboy we’ve tried really hard to ensure that all product information & website content meets our extremely high standards of quality. If by some strange twist of fate one of our tshirts arrives to you not as described, then your sole remedy, as we've said, is to return it unworn, unwashed & in a re-salable condition.
Despite the utmost security undertaken through our professional, secure payment gateway, eWay, goatboy.com.au is used at your sole risk. We can’t promise or warrant that the goatboy.com.au site, it’s servers and e-mails are free of errors, viruses, or other nasty and harmful components. Goatboy will not be held liable for any damages of any kind arising from the use of the site, it’s contents, and all other materials provided by Goatboy including but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, and consequential damages.
These Terms & Conditions are subject to change at any time without notice.
